This blog has been in my heart for longer than I can remember or care to admit. A blog that would be a place for me to share my heart, to bring laughter, to bring tears, to bring light. But where does one begin when writing that "very first blog post"? My days of Xanga and other short-lived personal blogs are behind me.
In February I sat across a table from Josh Griffin, and we talked blogging. His advice? Find your passion, and then WRITE! Figure out who you want to talk to, and what you want to say. And if you don't know what to stay, still sit down and write! It will come.
My passion is youth ministry. But not just youth ministry...it's equipping others to do youth ministry. And as a young, single, female who struggles every day in a field that is largely dominated by men wearing plaid shirts, hot wives at their sides, I want to support others in the same boat as myself. Where my single ladies at?!?
It's hard coming home on a Wednesday night to your one-bedroom apartment with no one but Jesus and your teddy bear to recap how your youth service went. It's hard when no one tells you to stop and you keep going and going until you break. It's hard when you return home from a mission trip and all your students are greeted by waiting friends and family, and you wish your family didn't live 1200 miles away. It's hard when classmates are getting married and having babies, and "your kids'' are all 13-18 year olds who really belong to someone else. It's hard when that family at church just won't give you any credibility because you're a female, you're too young, you haven't raised kids...or all three. It's hard when you have all these hopes and dreams for your life, what you'd like to do and where you'd like to live, but you realize youth ministry never gets your closer to achieving a single one. And it's hard when that student loan bill comes, and you get practice your most fervent prayer of the month, because working in the church world just doesn't financially cut it.
It's hard but...it's beautiful. It's beautiful when after a night a night of chaos, you can come home to peace. It's beautiful when God gives you so much strength and energy that you know it can only come from Him. It's beautiful when even though you're 1200 miles away from where you grew up, you still feel at home. It's beautiful when you realize that though you didn't birth them, they ARE your kids...and you don't have to do the parental tough stuff. It's beautiful when you get to grow with your students, and they have a prime example of what it's like to be real. It's beautiful when you realize God's plans are bigger that yours, and He has you right where you need to be. And it's beautiful how God provides by ways of cleaning jobs, babysitting gigs, and unexpected checks from grandparents.
It's hard, it's beautiful, it's the life of a single young woman. It's the life of "that youth pastor girl." It's the life of...me. And so many others! Join me on the journey :)