Sometimes? Ok...maybe most of the time/all of the time.
Day after day, a blank screen stares at me and I have seemingly nothing to say. Why not? I'm a writer. I'm a thinker. A creative being. Why so shy to blog all of a sudden?
Maybe it's a lack of direction. Originally I wanted to write for those like me - single, young, female, and in youth ministry. But how many of us are there? And how many actually read what I have to say? Do I want to go a funny, satirical, sarcastic route with this blog? Am I writing my deepest thoughts to provoke theological contemplations in the minds of others? Do I share my daily stories in hopes of providing a laugh or giggle? And who is my audience? Am I writing for myself, a therapy of sorts? Am I writing to my youth group, hoping to share some nuggets of inspiration they may not have gotten in a Wednesday night message?
I don't know.
It's so easy to put things off, to come up with excuses. I'll empty the dishwasher tonight. I'll clean the bathroom tomorrow. I'll call my grandparents later this week. I'll return that shirt this weekend. I'll pack for that trip the morning I leave...
Things like that, not such a big deal. But what about when it becomes bigger? I'll invite him to church next Wednesday. I'll volunteer in the Children's Ministry next month. I'll pray before I go to bed tonight. I'll read my Bible when I wake up in the morning.
But what happens in the morning? Nothing. It's like this blog. I'll write it tomorrow. I'll be inspired tomorrow. I'll have something to share tomorrow.
I'll open God's Word tomorrow.
Don't put off until tomorrow what you could do today. I only say it because I am the guiltiest of guilty. But let's just say it's a lesson God has definitely been teaching me lately.
We are told to DELIGHT ourselves in the Lord (Psalm 37:4). How many of us know what it is like to truly delight in Him? Too often I find my delight based in a relationship, an accomplishment, or temporary circumstances. What happens when those earthly things fail? When the relationship ends, when the acclaim dies down, when circumstances change? Where then is my delight?
It comes down to knowing who He is. I read this a while back: "But when we learn who God really is and we base our decisions on a passionate love for Him, we find joy and delight in obedience. We even want to go that extra mile for Him" (Ludy, 65).
I don't know if any of this makes any sense, if it flows or goes together at all. But this is where I am. I want that passionate love, I want to go the extra mile.
Who's with me?